Mom has boxes full of my kid's stuff,and there are dolls and dresses in there. It's so weird. It's like I wassupposed to be a guy, but one day... I wasn't." Do you think you're a transsexual? That down deep you're really a guy?" Oh, no. God, no. Don't get me wrong, I like what I am. It's just that Iget this feeling that what I am... isn't what I was." So if you're okay with what is, why all the problems?" It's like... you've got a shelf full of knickknacks and you've got themarranged one way. Then someone comes in and rearranges them into somethingbetter. You like the new arrangement, but the fact that it's different andyou never saw it being changed makes it feel weird." So why the problems now?" That IS because Janey isn't here. When I'm with Janey, I feel likeeverything's how it's supposed to be. And when we're in bed together, allmy problems just... fade away." And with Janey away..." The oddness just sits there like a thorn under my skin."Karl sat there for a few seconds before. When we arrived at the clearing that had been her previous home, I spotted the tears running down Jane's face. From what she had told me the children had been hers and the man who had lain over her body was that of her husband. The house had burnt to the ground and there was no sign whatever of any bones. We did not linger but continued on.Instead of turning east, we carried on south-east to a path I hadn't noticed the last time I was in this clearing. Jane wanted me to follow her in that direction. First change in my plan.In about one hour we came to another but larger clearing, with five of these low round houses. It was obvious the village was deserted as some of the roofs of the houses had been burnt and there was skeletal remains lying in the open ground. This no doubt had been the result of a similar raid, which had devastated Jane's old home.This time we just walked through the village and headed on to the path, which this time was going in the direction, which I wanted to go.A.
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